SLAY THE SLOG! Kill the Pacing Dragon!

Did I mention that writing is hard work? And that when it comes to the hardest parts, novelists have this damnable tendency to tell themselves they're lousy writers, when in fact what they've got ahead of them is just plain hard work. The damnable tendency is a subject I'll deal with another time. Today it's about one of the hard jobs of writing. That elusive and confusing thing called Pacing. It's a Dragon. Let's slay it.

Anyone who thinks he can just sit down and write the fantasy of his heart and call it a novel- well, maybe he can write it. But if he thinks it's readable, he's probably wrong. Because 90% of the work in producing a novel others would want to read is in the re-writes. And most authors don't know how to edit for better pacing.

So let's gather our weapons and do a little reconnaissance.

Pacing is hard even to define. Basically, good pacing is the combination of all parts of a story to make it flow in a way that enhances the story. It' a matter of timing. Just as a comedian knows he must time his joke perfectly or it will fall flat, so an author must time his story.

As authors we can work magic with time. We can alter it as we please, and our readers accept it- if we did it in a way that serves our story well. The rest of the world is stuck with this ever-ticking clock that advances forward at the same eternal pace (other than the ones Einstein decided to move at the speed of light, that bring their travelers back to earth still young when everyone they knew on earth has aged and gone to their graves, but we're not going there today.)

Think about it. You pick up my book and spend a few hours reading it. In that amount of reading time, I took you back in time and we journeyed several months together. We might have skipped forward- I tend to discount hours spent sleeping as boring parts not worth recording, and hop right past little trips to the outhouse unless they're significant). We might have back-flashed to a previous time.

But that's only the obvious part. We also might have slowed time to luxuriate in a place of utter pleasure, say, floating down a very lazy river with the sun dappling through the trees along the shore. Or we sped it up to leap on our horses and dash over the fields to the churchyard where the bad guys hold the heroine hostage. And all in all, our story held us in the magic thrall of time, the illusion that we'd lived all of that, plus the memories of the events that led up to the story.

It's magic. Because it all happens by words. I say "horse", and you picture horse, complete with flowing mane. But no horse is really there, just in your mind and mine. I take maybe 2 seconds to say, "next morning", and your mind jumps to there, accepting that eight hours have passed. If I documented all those eight hours, you wouldn't just throw my book against a wall, you'd hunt me down and beat me to death with it.

Yeah, you say, but WHAT WORDS? Yes, that's the trick. Well, actually, the trick is more in HOW MANY words, and WHAT Kind of words.

In other blogs I've talked about cutting out the boring stuff and starting at the right place. Those are important parts of good pacing. The first thing is the boring stuff. What's boring? Anything that isn't really part of the story, and story is about conflict and conflict resolution. So idle conversation is a story killer because the reader has to dis-engage from the story and listen to chatter that in another situation might interest him but does not now.

The same is true with extra words. This has been a really hard one for me to learn. Women are more verbose than men, and they use more 'qualifier' words, like 'maybe', 'I think', 'rather', 'part of me thinks'-- get the idea? They have their uses, but they slow things down. So whenever you want your story to move faster, go on a hunt for qualifiers and slay them as mini-dragons. So just as a matter of habit, get rid of them through your entire story.

Slow scenes are hard to master, but I find most contest entries and even some published books have a really hard time with action scenes, where the pacing must be very tight and tense. For some reason it's common for authors to over-write action scenes. Sometimes I think they believe they have to get in more information to be believable. But actually, this is the time to trim to a bare minimum. The first thing that needs to go is internal monologue because the last thing a person is doing when he sees a car screaming down on him is to think, "I wonder if that's my Cousin Dewey. He always hated me after his dad took me on that fishing trip to Yosemite Park. I remember Aunt Maud wearing the dress with the tiny flowers as she packed our balogna sandwiches in brown paper bags..."

No, he's going to get the h&!! out of there, and think about Cousin Dewey and mouth-watering balogna later. So f it's possible, get rid of every single bit of internal stuff.

Also tighten with short, hard-hitting words. Short sentences.

Go on a modifier hunt, and slay that mini-dragon, too. If it ends in -ly or -ing, chances are excellent it needs to go. Look for verbs that do double duty. Verbs that require a modifier are generally weak ones, and you'll get more impact plus faster pace if you find a verb than can say what both verb and adverb are saying now. Limit the number of objects you describe. If you have a string of visual things you put in your description, pick ONE, describe it quickly (one word or less) and get on with the action.

Look closely at your nouns, too. Don't say feline when you can say cat. Better yet, get specific and say Persian. Yes, the word is longer, but it gives a more vivid picture, and you need all the help you can get with visuals here. Also be sure you've varied your words because a slightly different word can contribute more information just by being there.

Pronouns? Use them but be sure they refer to the right person, place or thing. Nothing worse than confusing the reader to slow down pacing.

And emotion- substitute it for all that thinking you took out. Also body language, and PAIN. If your hero takes a bang on the head, he'd better feel it or you lost your reader, who won't take it seriously.

And in an action scene more than any other, do not say anything twice, just in a different way. Don't follow a great piece of action with a short internal thought about what or why. Show it all in the action.

But there's one dragon that above all must be slain: Lack of Conflict. Your fiction must be conflct from beginning to end, even in the slow, easy scenes. Every scene must have a problem, and something must happen to change the scene so that when it is done, the characters' world and situation has changed. If not, then you need to find out what the conflict is that you've left out, and if you can't find it, then your scene needs to be cut.

I've read several contest entries lately in which the author has worked very hard to beef up the pacing. The prose is so tight, if it were a trampoline it could bounce you to the stars. But somehow it still falls flat.

Why? No amount of tightening can take the place of good work on Goal, Motivation and Conflict. If you have characters that are walking around town talking about yesterday's ballgame, I have a hard time caring. I can hear that at home. If they walk out of the game arguing over whether the game was thrown, sorry I still don't care, because that's just arguing and it's not going anywhere. It isn't true conflict as far as fiction goes. But if a car screams up, masked men jump out and grab a guy's girlfriend and drag her off, gunning down the boyfriend in the process, then I want to know why. A story has begun.

Whew! Did I mention this Dragon-Slaying is hard work?

A MOST LAMENTABLE COMEDY

Winner of our MOST OUTRAGEOUS RAKE Award

a Five-Rake Read!


Today we are in Berkeley Square, calling on Phrygia, Lady Thistlebloom, patroness of the British Museum and general arbiter of good taste and social graces. Lady Thistlebloom is at home and entertaining our newest Hero of Great Reknown, Mr. Nicholas Congrevance, hero of A MOST LAMENTABLE COMEDY, by Mrs. Janet Mullany, and recently returned from the Continent after a lengthy absence. Let's listen in:
* * *
Lady T: Good afternoon, Mr Congrevance. So kind of you to come. Do have a seat, won't you? Would you care for tea?

Mr. C: Your servant, ma'am. Why, tea would be delightful. Tea, plus the company of delightful English ladies, is something I've missed sorely.

Lady T: I understand you have recently returned from abroad, Mr. Congrevance.

Mr C: I have indeed, ma'am. I've traveled the continent quite widely these past few years

Lady T: Do you know, I was in Venice myself, quite recently. A rather odd thing occurred there. I saw a gentleman who resembled you quite closely. In fact, I should say he could very well have been-- but no, I believe he was an Italian fellow, some Comte de Something or other. Picked up by three ruffians and tossed head first into a canal. Since he most likely drowned, I am certain you could not have been the fellow.

Mr C: How shocking! Foreigners do the oddest things.

Lady T: Indeed yes, and his trousers were at his ankles. I suspect he was discovered by a cuckolded husband.

Mr C: I am most sorry you were subjected to such a grievous sight. For a lady of your tender sensibilities the shock must have been very great.

Lady T: Indeed yes. Quite huge. The shock, that is. And did I hear Lord Otterwell say he had come across you in Rome?

Mr C.: Lord Otterwell? Yes, of course. I go to visit him shortly.

Lady T: Oh, he is the most delightful gentleman. He puts on a Shakespeare play every year, as you probably know. Last year Lady Cynthia Bellbury played a breeches role in As You Like It, and it is quite extraordinary that she spends all her time in the country now, often seen in breeches, in the company of the lady who played with her. They are quite inseparable.

Mr C: How charming. And will you be going this year? Maybe we could travel together.

Lady T: Regretfully I declined the invitation after hearing that a certain lady had been invited. You have not been in town long enough to hear of her disgraceful conduct. She is quite dreadful, excessively vulgar, and--

Butler: Mrs. Jane Haddon, ma'am.

Mrs. H: Oh! My dear Lady Thistlebloom, I didn't know you knew Count Orlovsky! So honored to meet you again, your grace!

Lady T: Don't be silly, Jane, this is Mr. Nicholas Congrevance.

Mrs. H: I assure you, I knew him in Paris as Count Orlovsky. Why, you rogue, you disappeared entirely!

Butler: Lady Venetia Whitham, ma'am.

Lady W: Oh, dear Reverend Biddle, how delightful to see you again. I have thought so often of your good works among the poor of Vienna. Dear Phyrgia, you must make a contribution to the Reverend Biddle's fund. I am sure you will be delighted with his gratitude.

Lady T: You are mistaken, my dear. This is Mr. Nicholas Congrevance.

Mrs. H: No it is not. It is Count Orlovsky.

Butler: Mrs. Janet Mullany, ma'am.

Mrs. M: Ladies, I'm afraid I cannot stay--I must take Mr. Congrevance off your hands. We have an emergency committee meeting of the Association for the Rescue and Succor of those in Extremis. I'll bid you all good day.

[hasty farewells are said and Mrs. Mullany escorts Mr. Congrevance out, leaving the three ladies to decide who their caller really is]

Mr. C: Whew. That was unfortunate. I'm delighted to meet you again, Mrs. Mullany.

Mrs. M: I warned you not to linger in London, Nick, you idiot. I can't believe two women from your lurid past showed up at Lady Thistlebloom's and didn't want to kill you.

Mr. C: Well, you know, I left them both very happy. I always do.

Mrs. M: After emptying their husbands' pockets.

Mr. C: Where are we going? The Association for the what? It sounds like ARSE.

Mrs. M: It's a joke I wanted to recycle from the last book. Here we are. Mrs. Jacobs, this is Mr. Nicholas Congrevance.

Mr. C: Your servant, ma'am. [Whispers to Mrs. Mullany] Should I send my manservant to enquire of Mrs. Jacobs' maid what her allowance is?

Mrs. M: Don't be a fool, Nick, she's a writer. She doesn't have any money.

Mr. C: And these other ladies?

Mrs. M: They're the ladies Mrs. Jacobs has invited over to ask you questions. I'm sure they want to hear all about you.

Mrs. J: So delighted to meet you at last, Mr. Congrevance. Mrs. Mullany has told me of all your charms. I'm quite happy to see for myself, and I'm sure you will become a remarkable asset to society. Do allow me to introduce you to the ladies of ARSE, your devoted readers and fans.

Mr. C: Do pardon me, Mrs. Jacobs, but what is ARSE?

Mrs. J: Why, Mr. Congrevance, I am shocked. You have not heard of Ardent Readers of Salacious Editions? Our membership is quite large. ARSE is expanding everywhere. The membership, that is.

[Mrs. J turns to the eager-faced ladies who await them.]

There you are, ladies, did I not promise you the most delic-- well, let us simply say his starring role in Mrs. Mullany's marvelously naughty, 5-Rake-Winning book has brought him to the foreront of our imaginations.

Ladies, I am pleased to introduce to you, Mr. Nicholas Congrevance, winner of the prestigious IN SEARCH OF HEROES Award for Most Outrageous Rake of 2009. Feel free to ask any questions.

Ah-ah, though, Mrs. Cullidawny, you mustn't touch.

(Mrs. Jacobs wishes to point out that she and Mrs. Mullany had a bit of fun putting together this interview, and we hope you have enjoyed it, too.)

Mrs. Mullany's book, A MOST LAMENTABLE COMEDY, is publishe through Little Black Dress and is available through Amazon.com, UK , on Book Depository.com, and a few other places too. And while youre out there looking, drop by her website at http://www.janetmullany.com/) and learn more about Janet and her funny, saucy and sexy books.
She is, after all, the creator of our delicious Mr. Nicholas Congrevance, our sexy MOST OUTRAGEOUS HERO.

SHOOT FIRST- ASK QUESTIONS LATER: Starting Your Story at the Right Place

You've got a great story idea. You've figured out the plot and the hero and heroine are growing magically in your mind. You know all about who they are and how they got to be the way they are. The story is just begging to be written. It assaults you eager mind every minute of the day.

But where does it start?

Or maybe you've already written the story. You know it inside and out now, even to the parts you didn't put in it. But there's one thing wrong, and you've gone over that again and again.
The opening.

You're not alone. Most authors, published or unpublished, have trouble with the beginning, sometimes on every one of their books. As authors, we know our story, but we also know all that led up to it, all that surrounds it and all that follows, so it's confusing to separate out exactly where the book should open. It's not uncommon at all for an author to try four, five, even a dozen different ways to open, and still not grasp why it isn't working.

A common problem authors face with openings is STARTING TOO EARLY. I see this so often in contests, I think it must be the most common problem unpublished authors face. Now and then I've seen an author open TOO LATE, but that's rare. We seem to want to get in and explain the past, so the reader will feel grounded when the story opens.

But how much explanation does the reader need? The answer is, not much. That's what the story is for, to show her this new world where she has not walked before. Your opening is there to open her eyes, make her ears hear. Let her discover for herself.

One of my early books, The Mudlark, had one of the most marvelous descriptions I've ever written, all about the heroine and her life an how she had taken over managing her family home in the long absences of her irresponsible father, and. . .

Get it? Heard it before? So had my contest judges. "Cut to the chase!" one of them said.

But I loved my wonderful prose! It told the reader all about who Izzy was! How else could I get that across? Well, the answer was clearly to show who she was by what she did. And one contest judge even helpfully pointed to a paragraph and said, "Your story starts here."

It didn't sound like an opening to me, and I diligently tried to re-work it so it would. But that took me right back to where it was, with twelve pages of explanation. Finally I gave up and just whacked. This is what I found:

When the sun came out from beneath dense clouds, Izzy Daventry threw her
shawl over her shoulders and set off from the manor across meadows that were
still slick from the last downpour. Within moments, the collection of children
commonly known as Izzy's Urchins gathered around her, warbling like the first
larks of spring, eager to see what adventure she had prepared for the day.

What does it do? It sets the scene. It introduces Izzy by showing her doing something she loves. And within the next page it takes what she loves and gives it all a bizarre twist that forces the story into action. I'm even tighter at getting to the point now, but this is the place I learned how to do it.

My favorite opening is probably from His Majesty, the Prince of Toads:

Tucked in amongst the odors of wax and smoking wicks, lavender and musk, lurked the aura of anticipation. Faint, yet distinct, it hung like a scent itself in the heavy air of the Carstairs drawing room.
It became more than a smell. Sophie heard it in the sudden hushing of voices, saw it in the slight raising of eyebrows. Previously attentive gentlemen stiffened, and with polite nods faded away as if they had not been fluttering about her just moments before. Her nape prickled, and Sophie felt like she was a goat staked out in a tiger trap.

This one is better because it makes heavy use of sensual details to present the setting, and to characterize the heroine, not by telling who she is, but by showing her poised at the point of action. And because she is poised, tension builds in the reader immediately. And action does begin immediately, with the confrontation with her husband she has been dreading for years. The reader only needs to know at this point that something is going to happen. And she knows she wants to find out what it is.

Here's an example from J. D. Robb from Rapture in Death:

Three weeks hadn't changed Cop Central. The coffee was still poisonous, the noise abominable, and the view out her stingy window was still miserable.
She was thrilled to be back.

Nora at her best. She entices the reader with a concise lure that is almost impossible to resist. A lesser author might have started the story where "she" is getting exiled from "her" beloved/hated environment. Not Nora. In one densely, tensely packed paragraph, she has set the scene, established a vital character, painted the mood, and let you know trouble is already as thick as the bad coffee. What trouble? Can't wait to find out, can you?

I've heard so many new writers say, "But I like to ease in to my story." Yes, and it's a great way to get the writer launched into writing it. But it's not a great a way to sell a book. If you tell everything the reader knows in the first chapter, why should she bother to read the rest? She has nothing left niggling at her brain to make her turn the page.

If you think you might have done that, go back with a highlighter and mark every place that has an important piece of information the reader needs. With each one of those in mind, imagine the rest of your story and ask WHY the reader needs to know. This will point you to the place in the story where that item becomes relevant. All you have to do next is to figure out a place to stick it in- a place that is not in your opening pages.

The idea is to sprinkle these little clues throughout your manuscript, using just a word or two, showing each one instead of telling about it. Get sneaky. Very sneaky. If you're in a hurry to spruce up your beginning, just make yourself a list containing each clue and where you'd like to hide it. Get to it later.

Then go back and whack out everything before the point where the action begins. Ah, another difficult task. How do you know where that is? You may know more than you think.

Go back and look at my first example. Why was this point chosen? Because everything before it was description. It had motion but no action. Izzy fooled around in her garden. She checked the furniture for proper polish. She stared out the window and watched the rain, thinking about her recalcitrant parent. What she was going to do in the future, what she had done in the past. The point chosen was the point where the action began, leading straight to the adventure that left her looking like the Mudlark as the hero imagines her moments later when they meet.

It's likely, if you're having this kind of problem, that you have a lot of narrative full of beautiful, descriptive prose, possibly with a character musing over the past or planing the future, and doing a lot of gardening. Motion, not action. Where does the action begin?

Action requires conflict. The old way of defining plot structures says it well. All plots follow certain basic patterns: Man vs. man. Man vs. God. Man vs. the elements, or nature. Man vs. himself. Where does the conflict in your story begin? That's where your story begins. Everything before it is just backstory. Get rid of it. Hide it. Start with the story.

All right, then, what DO you need in your opening if you can't have backstory? Here's the formula I use: In the first two pages, I need to (1) establish the setting, both time and place; (2) set the mood; (3) introduce at least one main character; (4) establish his character; (5) give him a problem; and then (6) give it a twist. And if I can do it in one page, so much the better.

Don't think you can do it? Sure, you can. If you can't figure out the point, then try removing your first three chapters. Yes, three. That's what most writers have in backstory when they first start out. Look at chapter four. Read it as if it's the very opening of your story. As you read it, make a note of anything in the first three chapters that absolutely must be said. Is there any possibility you can work it in as a thought in a main character's mind?

Here's the small segment I inserted in Fire Dance that took care of the entire seven-page prologue:

"Sorcerer." Alain tensed, recalling his last meeting with Rufus, a strange scene with much left unexplained.
"There is unfathomable evil in the man, de Crency. I do not want him to live." Had Rufus meant sorcery, then?
"And you will take his daughter Melisande to wed, no questions asked." Alain had laughed and asked if the lady had two heads. Mayhap she did.
In his mind, Alain saw Rufus, watching in fascination as he held a crumpled parchment to the brazier's coals. The King's perpetually stuffy nose wrinkled at the acrid smell as flames jumped forth to consume it. Then Rufus dropped the parchment and watched its remains dance a graceful pattern, like a flower opening, then shriveling in the devouring flames.

See? You can do it. Just stick to the story. Stick to the conflict. Stick to the action. Leave all the explanation for another time.

Shoot first. Ask questions later.

MORE CAPTCHAS (In case you were bored)

Just in case you didn't have anything else to read, here are a few more definitions from my Captcha Dictionary, using actual words found in Blogger's Captchas:

Pripl: n. A purple pupil's principle. alt., A pupil's principle private portion of property, usually also purple.

Psonol: adj. Text-speak for personal, most often used in mumbling tones by teenage boys not wanting to explain why their girlfriends are no longer speaking to them, or why their mothers grounded them just before the big kegger. Also used to avoid explaining humiliating medical diagnoses such as hemorrhoids. (If you still don't get it, refer to Zits for improved understanding of the teenage mind.)

Demozo: n. Isn't he on NCIS?



Wistang: n. What you get when you try to cross a mustang with a tornado: the fastest animal known to nature.

House: n. A cave with windows.

Deromp: v. To un-wind after strenuous exertion. To relax after reading an overwhelmingly exciting traditional Regency. Developed in the early 1990's to express the feeling of deflation upon reaching "The End" of a Regency romance. The term was later determined to be unnecessary, after extensive studies discovered such de-escalation did not occur.

Ireple: adj. Unrecoverable and un-compensatable loss of letters from the middle of a word. Occurs most often when thumbs are applied to cell phones, or any event which involves the collision between teenagers and spelling. Refer back to Zits.)

Driblest: adj. The superlative of drib. As in, drib, dribbler, driblest. The smallest of dribs, which are smaller than dribbles.

Roluet: n. uRssian roulette with the chambers full.

Inneox: n. Better than an outeox, but in the case of oxen, not a good choice either way.

Chronso: n. Meaning unknown.

Achorons: n. The opposite of chronso.

Godcha: n. (1) a near miss, as in, ‟close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades". (2) v. a Captcha that godcha funny-bone.


Squargi: n. An unsuccessful Saturday morning cartoon starring Squeegee Bill Square Pants.

Exonite: n. A petroleum product mined in Prince William Sound, Alaska, and in San Francisco Bay. Used for waterproofing wildfowl and beaches.

Ovelva: I don't know, but it sounds either biological or pornographic. Either that, or my mind is.

Temest: n. Like tempest in a teapot but without the p, and therefore less volatile. As in, temest in a teaot.

Redamist: n. A proponent of repetitive cuss words.

HOTTER THAN HOT! Elizabeth Naughton

Welcome today to Elizabeth Naughton who has been blazing trails in romance with sizzling hot stories and even hotter heroes!

********************************

Thanks so much to Delle for having me here today! I’m thrilled to be chatting books…and heroes…with you all.

Since most romance readers are women, it makes sense that a big part of a romance author’s job is creating heroes women will fall in love with and want to read over and over. If we’ve done our job correctly, the hero is the most memorable character in a book – he’s the first thing a reader remembers when they hear the book’s title, and he’s the last thought in a reader’s mind when she closes the pages of a book at night.

This is not an easy job because heroes are as varied as living, breathing people. To us they are living, breathing people, and they often have minds of their own. (Many is the time I’ve argued with one of my heroes over the direction of a story.) And because they’re so different, we can’t lump them into easily labeled categories.

One of the hardest heroes to write – in my mind – is the unlikeable hero. The one who, for whatever reason, is closed off, angry, or severely tortured. These are – ironically – also the most fun to read. And they’re the kind of heroes readers remember long after a book is finished.

The hero in my current release, STOLEN HEAT, is one of these heroes. Pete is angry through most of the book. The one woman he loved – and changed his life for – is suddenly back from the dead. After six years. After he spent all that time mourning her. After he felt guilty for her death. Now she’s back and though he goes through a whole gamut of emotions at that revelation, the one he’s stuck on is betrayal.

Originally, when I wrote the book, I was mindful of the fact readers might not enjoy an angry hero. And so I worked to make him likeable. To show his good side. To do anything to tone down his bitterness. However, after my agent read the first draft, she said, “I like the plot and premise but…Pete needs to be waaaaaaaay angrier than he is. Imagine how you would feel if your husband supposedly died, then suddenly came back from the dead, and all that time never let you know he was alive.” She was right. Sure, I’d be happy at first, but then I’d be severely pissed. I rewrote the book with that thought in mind and the end result is STOLEN HEAT.

I’ve read plenty of romances where the hero is an alpha ass through the entire book and the last 20 pages redeems himself. These are not keeper books in my mind, and I was wary of that when I wrote STOLEN HEAT. So I worked hard to show Pete’s good side along the way, gave the reader glimpses of their relationship before Kat went into hiding, let the reader see what it was about Pete that made her fall for him in the first place. I’m pleased with the ending, readers seem to be happy with the final product, and I have now written one very tortured, ticked off hero…whom I love.

How do you feel about the unlikeable hero? The one who may be closed off, angry or severely tortured?

***
Bio:
A previous junior-high science teacher, Elisabeth Naughton now writes sexy romantic suspense and paranormal novels full time from her home in western Oregon where she lives with her husband and three children. Her debut release, Stolen Fury, was a 2007 Golden Heart Finalist and has been heralded by Publisher's Weekly as "A rock-solid debut." When not writing, Elisabeth can be found running, hanging out at the ball park or dreaming up new and exciting adventures. Visit the author’s website at www.elisabethnaughton.com

Her latest release is STOLEN HEAT:

Book Two in the Stolen Trilogy
On Sale: July 28, 2009
ISBN: 978-0-505-52794-3
His past tore them apart. Her lies thrust them back together. Now a killer's out for revenge, but the biggest threat for both may just be the heat they thought they'd already lost...
Antiquities dealer Peter Kauffman walked a fine line between clean and corrupt for years. And then he met the woman who changed his life—Egyptologist Katherine Meyer. Their love affair burned white-hot in Egypt, until the day Pete’s lies and half-truths caught up with him. After that, their relationship imploded, Kat walked out, and before Pete could find her to make things right, he heard she’d died in a car bomb.

Six years later, the woman Pete thought he’d lost for good is suddenly back. The lies this time aren’t just his, though. The only way he and Kat will find the truth and evade a killer out for revenge is to work together—as long as they don’t find themselves burned by the heat each thought was stolen long ago…
"Exciting, action-packed and fast moving, this story seamlessly alternates from the present to the past. A first-rate mystery, it has well-developed characters and a suspenseful and satisfying climax. A fine romantic thread winds through it all."
--RT BOOKReviews
"STOLEN HEAT is an awesome combination of deadly suspense, edgy action and a wonderful romance with characters that you’ll laugh, cry and yell with. I had a great time reading it and I’m definitely looking forward to more of Ms. Naughton’s books."
--Wendy, Night Owl Romance
To be entered into Elisabeth’s BIG STOLEN HEAT Release Contest go to www.elisabethnaughton.com/stolen_heat_contest.html. You could win a $100 VISA gift card and a whole host of other daily prizes!

CRAFTING THE WINNING SYNOPSIS

So okay, I couldn't resist posting the baby pics!

This is my CP Heather and her baby, Andy, now five months old, just six weeks past his original projected birth date. Quite a difference from his pic at five weeks, isn't there!

I saw him for the first time yesterday, and actually he's still in "quarantine" and not supposed to be around any but the most necessary people. But I was needed to help them get to a specialist appointment. I'll be able to actually hold him in September.

***

Now, where were we? Oh yes, synopses... Hm, maybe we could go back to baby pictures... But no, we have a job to do here.

What if I confess I'm sometimes one of those rare authors who actually enjoys writing a synopsis? Will you stone me? Would it help to tell you it didn't always go this way- and in fact sometimes still doesn't?However, I am one of those few authors who sometimes is praised by editors for my "enjoyable" synopses. And that's got to be better than being told, "Well, we know some authors just can;t do a decent synopsis and we don't hold it against them."

Wouldn't you rather hear "enjoyable"? Especially after they've just told you your synopsis it a selling tool for your story?

I might edit and revise a manuscript 3, 5, or even 10 times. I don't regret that. It's what I have to do to get my story right. But a synopsis? Nothing less than 30 to 40 times, I'm certain. Sometimes I think the job is never done, no matter how hard I work on it. I can still pick up synopses for stories I sold long ago and see something I can't believe I didn't spot before. So no way around it, a good synopsis is very hard work.

No one told me how to write a synopsis. Way back then, there were books on how to write a great novel, but nothing on writing that mysterious document that spelled your life or death as a writer. Nobody taught any courses about it, and you couldn't find any information online. Heck, you couldn't find anything online. Chances were, you hadn't even heard the word modem then.

So I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to do a decent synopsis. I still have one of my earlier ones, and I'll guarantee, it is awful. It's a 12 page list of events in chronological order, in sentences that all have the same structure, short and clipped, and bare. No wonder no one was interested in buying my stories then.

Once, I found a book on how to format manuscripts, and it gave a format for synopsis. I won't tell you what it said, because nobody does those anymore. But no matter who I asked, no one could, would maybe, tell me what I needed to know. There was "You've got to get the emotion into it." "You should layer in the emotion." Yeah, I did ask over and over how to do that. What I got back amounted to blank stares.

And mine were long. The first one I wrote was 42 pages. I did have the sense to not submit it, and realized it was really a story outline, the kind I'd use for myself. With great effort, I got it down to something almost useful. The above-mentioned 12 pages.

So what have I learned over the years? Well, most of that is covered in these three links to some great information for synopsis writers. I swiped this list from another author, Jenna Bayley-Burke, right out from under her nose, because I thought you could use it:

Synopsis Creation-Plot Revision by Alicia Rasley - example of how to fix a bad synopsis
http://www.sff.net/people/alicia/artsynrevision.htm

Honing your Synopsis Skills by Joanne Rock - emotional landmarks make the synopsis, not just a string of events
http://home.att.net/~jrock008/synopsis_article.html

Synopsis by Linda Needham - synopsis worksheet
http://www.lindaneedham.com/synopsistwn.htm

Certain basics apply, of course, such as using the same basic format you use for your manuscript unless the editor or house specifies otherwise. Generally double-space, but now shorter synopses can sometimes be single-spaced. Cover your entire story. Don't leave off the part covered by your partial unless told to do so by the house or agent to whom you are submitting. And DO NOT leave out the ending. The editor isn't looking for back cover blurb. She wants to know if you have the ability to resolve your story, and she'll almost certainly pass on a submission that tries to tease her instead.

What did I personally do to make my synopses work? Well, I started with my first tool, those very same first excited notes/outline of the story. Sometimes, if I'd finished the story, I'd go back and briefly edit to make the synopsis fit however the story had changed. Then I'd get out my YELLOW highlighter and mark all my major points- plot turning points, emotional turning points, motivations-- everything I thought needed to be in the synopsis. I'd then copy and paste them into a long list, which I would whittle down further by using the PINK highlighter in the same way as I'd done the yellow one. That makes orange, by the way. Delete the stuff that's still only yellow. I'd re-phrase what was left, trying to consolidate sentences. This usually got me down to the 12-15 page stage. Still too long, and it didn't exactly make exciting reading.

Next, I'd look for ways to generalize the plot. Instead of the detailed interaction of the hero and heroine going fishing, I'd just say they went fishing, where he rescued the trapped otter-- whatever, and she saw a softer side of him. No one needed to know they went up highway 14, stopped for gas and ice, and nearly got sideswiped by a logging truck barreling its way down the mountain.

This is true with plot points, too. Sometimes it's really hard for us to choose which plot points are major and which are minor. But here, while working on your synopsis, you need to decide this. In doing so, you will help sharpen and clarify your own view of your story. When you go to write your pitch to an editor, you'll be glad you did, because they'll be looking for a way to express your story concept in a sentence or less. And if you're confused, you can bet they'll feel confused.

Sometimes, if I have already written my story but the synopsis task looms over my head like Damocles' Sword, I start by glancing through my manuscript chapter by chapter and listing the events.

I discovered that by making a separate emotional plot line, which sometimes I run in a separate column side by side with the physical plot, I can see how it's the emotional line, the romantic growth, that makes the story strong. Then it's much easier for me to write sentences that combine the two, while minimizing plot and maximizing emotion.

A number of times my first plot sketch has been good enough to work into a synopsis. This has usually happened when I set out to keep my story-teller voice in the sketch. I just act like I'm explaining-telling- my exciting new story to my best friend. Somehow it has better voice and is shorter, too.

Another approach when I'm stumped, and need a much shorter synopsis but it won't trim down: I go to the extreme in shortening it. All the way to a blurb that would fit on the back of a business card. Sometimes not any more than a sentence. The question I ask: What's the essence of my story? Think Elevator Pitch. How would you describe your story to an editor if she asked you in an elevator, and you know she's getting off on the eighth floor?

An example:

Sunrise on the Cornish Coast: Two ladies. One spyglass. Two naked men dashing into the surf. One of them is the man Lady Juliette hoped would never find her.

Sure, there's lots more story after that. But this captures the theme, suspense, setting-- go from there. I later expanded this to blurb length, in 50, 100, 150 and 200 word blurbs because I eventually needed all of those for various sites and purposes. Later, for my banner ad, then my video, it became:

She has what he wants- the names of the gold-smuggling traitors. He doesn't know- If she tells him, she dies. If she doesn't tell, she dies. If she can fool him just one more time, she just might survive. But what happens if deception gives way to love?

Now, actually, THAT is my story, in a nutshell. But my synopsis is 5 pages long. Same thing, only more so.

This one better encapsulated the entire story the first time I wrote it:

What was intended to be a restorative tonic for women turns out to have an entirely different effect on men. And the bachelors of the Ton are running scared.

The object is to keep your tiny blurb in mind as you expand it. Build your synopsis from that point, maybe occasionally checking with your long one where you think you had it just right before. But build like you're putting up house framework, then adding on the remainder. Stop with the framing for a very short synopsis- just the emotional guts with clear but very general plot line. Add more detail for one that's 3-4 pages long, more emotion and motivation, more plot. Then your 7-10 page synopsis can be your mainstay that fleshes thing out. But again, keep your concentration on motivation and emotion.

When you're done structuring it, go back and polish, just like you would your manuscript. READ IT ALOUD. You'll spot repetitions, six sentences in a row starting with "she", plodding sentences that all have about the same structure, missing words or words that didn't get deleted, and things that just don't quite make sense.

Ask yourself, do you have a clear beginning, clear starting conflict? Do you say what hero and heroine want, and why they can't have it? Do you show how they change through the story? Do you define the Black Moment, and portray it with sufficient drama for its type? And do you resolve the external conflict, the internal conflicts, and the romance? If you're not writing a romance, does your story reach a satisfactory conclusion, and do you make it sound satisfactory in your synopsis?

If you've done all that, then polish up your baby and send it off. You've just created a little miracle. Hm. Sort of like little Andy.

DELILAH and the LORD OF PLEASURE

My friend the marvelous Delilah Marvelle dishes on her very delicious hero from LORD OF PLEASURE which is released today! This is just the kind of hero I love!

***

What makes the hero of my book, LORD OF PLEASURE -- Alexander Baxendale, the Earl of Hawksford -- so delicious and divine? Aside from the fact that I based him off of David Beckham?

Well...what I love most about Alexander Baxendale is his incredible zest toward life. There isn't a thing he won't do in the name of adventure and bliss. That is, until that zest for adventure and bliss is completely snatched away from him by the death of his father. Alexander finds himself inheriting not only the estate but his five overzealous sisters and a not so proper mother. And none of them think he should be in charge.

I absolutely love the idea of taking a man who knows no boundaries and then telling him he can't step outside of his box. It's so incredibly sexy to see the real man beneath the rakish facade step forth to reveal who he really is -- a romantic through and through. I have to say, I loved watching him go from rake to prude while inwardly struggling to become who he really is. And above all, he is not intimidated by the idea of learning what it is he needs to know about pleasuring the woman he loves. Even if it means enrolling himself in a school that will educate him on the matter. Because his woman means that much to him.

I have to say, any man who is willing to re-educate himself on the topic of love and seduction (quite literally...) in order to please his woman is what I call insanely divine and sexy. And of course, if he also happens to look like David Beckham...I'd say he's absolutely PERFECT. Of course, the trouble is....big sigh...he only exists in the pages of LORD OF PLEASURE.

When I finally finished this book, I couldn't help but tell my husband, "Sadly, I am madly in love with a man who doesn't exist." Needless to say, my husband has been trying to outdo Alexander ever since....