Like me, you no doubt have puzzled many times over the meanings of those strange Captcha words you have to re-type before posting comments on blogs. You know- the ones that look so much like words, yet aren't any words you've ever seen before? It's one of my lifelong ambitions to unravel these riddles, so I have been collecting them and piece by painstaking piece uncovering their true meanings. Alas, I fear the task is never-ending: more of them appear every day. But here are some of them I've managed to decipher:Lumanoc: n. Singular of a wild ox that comes out only by the light of a full moon. Grows long fangs to replace its ruminant teeth. Feeds on werewolves.
Whors: n. an archaic spelling for a long legged quadraped that munches grass. (Surprise! You thought it was something else, didn't you?)
Redigrab: n. First conceived in a laboratory with the intention of producing a viable competitor to Cling Wrap, Redigrab was discovered to have such gripping power it was found to be most useful to law enforcement for detaining criminals instead of handcuffs. Unfortunately it had the same effect on the arresting officers, while those of the criminal persuasion quickly learned the only antidote was peanut butter. Therefore, by slathering their wrists with peanut butter in preparation for the commission of a crime, the criminals pre-disposed themselves to escape, leaving their would-be captors bound instead. Hence, Redigrab has been outlawed in all civilized countries and is now used only in Somalia, where nobody knows who's in charge anyway.Icksatly: adv. Pig Latin corruption of sickly. Sometimes mistaken for NASA-Speak referring to a malfunctioning Mars satellite.
Prorn: n. Clearly, this is text-speak for professional porn.
Bustsos-- uhhhh..... Several implications for this word have been uncovered but all have turned out to be false leads, and its true meaning continues to elude me. If anyone has seen this word used in an appropriate fashion or has knowledge of its roots, it is imperative that you report it to the proper authority (me) immediately.
Leervows: v. That's when one of those really tiny passenger jets promises to get you off the ground and even safely back to earth. Really. Honest. Fixed that hole in the fuel tank. Put a really stout Band-Aid on the one back by the tail section. It'll be perfectly safe. No need to report it to the FAA.
Pedrapid: n. A pedophile on foot after his 1978 Plymouth ran out of gas in the desert. A condition that happens all too rarely.
Depical: n. A putrid pink medicine you take by the spoonful to cure bouts of depis, a skin disease with hiccups and spells of ADD. Don't believe me? Watch my grandsons.
