Thursday, April 9, 2009
A NEW WAY OF EVADING TAXES
A body's got to have some relief from finishing up taxes while deadlines screech down in all directions. Right? I hope you don't think I've gone too far over the line, but I promise the below drivel is not a sign of dementia. It's only the desperate attempt of an inherently lazy person to escape responsibility.
Ever wonder about the Google Captcha words? They're supposed to be random, but are they? If you're like me, you've noticed how often they resemble traditional English words. You know- real letters, arranged in the kinds of combinations that are found in real English words, and yet they aren't?
What if they are real words? My son insists they are, and every time we type one of them out, it's returned to Google and somehow or other helps with word recognition.
Ooookay. That made a lot of sense, didn't it? But I couldn't find them in any dictionary so I wrote my own definitions. (Pictures? You expected pictures for a topic like this? Oh, all right, but don't blame me if they don't have much to do with the subject.)
droglike: In the manner of a drunken dog. Originally used to express politically incorrect gaffes and television appearances of the 2009 presidential and vice-presidential candidates.
deprow: (1) to remove the prow of a boat. (2) to turn the prow of a boat into a Home Depot. First used in Ypsofacto, Michigan in the Recession of 2008-9 when building trades suppliers were forced out of their big boxes into alternative business sites.
dretul: (1) Text-speak for a Dremel Moto Tool. (2) A contraction for "dreadful".
varizeza: The explanation for the amazing variation and diversity of the Gabor sisters' vocabulary.
prosc: What happens in the courtroom when the prosecutor runs with scissors.
mitioddl: In the middle of a diddle. An important term for expressing confusion, particularly to describe an inability to form a cohesive political action. First observed in the Regency period and later resurrected in the American elections of 2009 to express what no term currently in use could quite express.
aninguro: A hairless Angora goat bred for tropical climates. Used to produce a substance for knitting yarnless sweaters.
exedacho: A minor traffic violation, exceeding the speed of a choo choo in a race down the tracks to the nearest railroad crossing sign.
herist: The opposite of therist.
How about it? Any Captchas of your own to add?